If it doesn't rain it pours....

Well I miscarried, it started friday... had my BETA today and my level is at 0. I'm glad its done.
During my time away my mother had to call 911 for herself, she had rapid heartbeat again. Now she's on oxygen for the rest of her life. She'll now be moving in here so I can take care of her until she passes I guess. I'm so very sad, which makes what I'm feeling sound cheap. Part of me says I don't want to live the next chapter of my life. We knew it was coming... this part... but it doesn't make it any easier. And I have to be the strong one and take care of her, which I want to, because she took care of me. I just don't know how I'm going to handle things.
2 hrs later...
I just had a friend stop by for a coffee, she was helpful in helping me sort some things out in my brain. She's an old friend, actually we used to call each other sister because we grew up together. We just re-united when david and I moved back to town. I said that I felt bad because she came back into my life when the shits gunna hit the fan, and she laughed and said what are sister for. It's nice to know we can still talk like we used to... specially after a good 13-15 years. It's nice to be reconnecting with her.
I have much more I'de like to write about, but after my visit I'm feeling pretty good, so we'll leave that wound closed until it opens again.

That's it for now.
TTYS
XOXO