20 weeks along

And my breasts feel extra huge! lol. My tummy popped some at 19 weeks, I'll take a picture and post it.
Been waking up every night with major cramps in my legs and back pain. its from working so hard everyday at the shop. Lifting/pushing/pulling/bathing/brushing those big dogs is very difficult. I hope I can last until July... that's when I go on MAT leave.

Hoping that we finally found a new place to live today, we hear back tomorrow. We viewed a semi, needs some TLC, but its HUGE inside and what we want. Small fenced back yard, quiet street.
Now Doug just needs to find a place to live. I'm looking forward to moving out of here actually... moving on to new memories.

Mom's birthday is monday, she would have been 69. Her 1 yr anniversary of passing will be  april 8th. 

That's about all that's new for now. Hope you're all well!

TTYS
XOXO

18 wks 3 days, Gender

So I had my u/s yesterday, and it went awesome. They showed me the fingers & toes, and inside the body. I seen the cord and everything. I had them check the gender, which they wouldn't tell me right off the hop. My midwife had to tell me.

So today I had my midwife apointment lol. It's TEAM PINK! So we're having another baby girl!!! Her name is Lillyana Christine! We're still playing with the spelling of Lillyana, I like Lilyanna.

I was a little shocked it was another girl. I honest to God thought I was going to have a boy, I always thought it would be a boy. Apparently I was wrong!
The sheet said "Query female", so I'm assuming they suggest more checking. I
have another u/s in a month as they didn't get all the pic's they needed, so awww shux I have to see baby again hehe. I'll request it again at that point just to verify.

She's moving around a lot tonight... and it feel really weird to say She instead of it hehe. Kinda cool though! Now I can't wait to see what she looks like. I am guessing she'll be the tomboy type and Maera will remain the Princess girly girl type.:):).  Ohh I am looking forward to the future :):).

Off to bed I go... work in the morning!

17 wks 2 days

I'm feelin' babe move. I can also get the heartbeat a lot faster with the monitor. I go this week to see the specialist reguarding my thyroid & med's. In a week I have my u/s and I believe we're finding out the sex this time. I have a feeling its a girl. But we'll see!
Last night for the first time I put the head phones on my tummy so the babe could listen to some relaxation music hehe. It danced in there lol, I could feel it hehe. Awww so sweet. Can't wait til babe gets bigger and Maera & David can feel it.
We're still looking for a new place to live, hoping we can find a place sometime soon. And now we're looking for a second vehicle... morning commutes are hell right now with only one vehicle and dropping Maera & David off. The Lincoln dropped it's transmission basically, and I wasn't about too put the money out... I mean mom already had it rebuilt a few years back. Sooo, wish us luck!!
Gotta go for now....

TTYS
XOXO

15 wks 6 days

Babe is moving moving!! I LOVE IT! Today I really felt him/her movin' around in there. yaaaay! The heart beat is getting much easier to pick up on the monitor as well. So Happy right now with being pregnant! :):)
I went today and did blood work for the second part of my IPS screening, and a follow up for the thyroid med's. So I find out about the thyroid med's on tuesday, makin' sure its doing its job. I feel better, so I'm thinking it's working.
Hope you're all well.

TTYS
XOXO

Me at 15 wks 2 days

15wks

I went to Motherhood Maternity and I got an awesome deal on two MAT shirts. I got both for $15! I also picked Maera up an "Im a big sister" book, it was $10. So over all I got a good deal really!
I also got my hair done. I needed a bit of a pick me up I think for a change. It did help me feel better.
I can definatley feel babe moving around in there every now and again, such an awesome feeling. Can't wait until s/he gets bigger. I kind of want to find out the sex of this baby, but I don't want to be disapointed that I found out. It's hard to explain. It's just that it would be very helpful to find out for money reasons, ya know? Buying clothes and making sure we're prepared Ect. I have until March 15th to decide, cause that's when my next u/s is. Woohoo, I`ll be 19 wks at that point! Woot! :):)

K, well that`s about it for now.
TTYS
XOXO

Here`s a pic from my 13 wk U S

14wks 3 or so days, very angry, emotional breakdown

So there are times that I am totally just beyond any happy emotions at all. Today I put laundry in, which is in the basement and I have to walk past the cat littler to get to it. Well, I have been after David to do the cat litter and today it was so full of piss and shit that the cats had started shitting under the table down there and in the laundry room. So I went ahead and changed one of the cat litters.... mopped the floor, scrubbed all the stains up. This was after working all day, coming home and cooking supper. I am not supossed to change the cat littler, he knows this. Why is it so hard for him to do ONE simple fucking task??? I'm sooo upset, angry and disapointed. Like he doesn't even care enough to change the fucking cat litter... that's how it feels anyways. Not only that, but there were like 4 garbage bags of previous cat little piled under the table, and like 3 old cat litter boxes that had been filled with used litter, which he hadn't brought up and outside. He fucking collects it. And last week... just last week I told him to make sure he brought the cat little up and outside with him because Dougs apartment is down there and it must smell. He said, yep yep I will... Well he didn't even bother doing that for god sake! Like what the hell is his problem? So I also carried 4 bags of that upstairs. Now I know I can't carry the boxes so I'm not even gunna try.
Then I always end up being the bitch, or the one he's angry with. Fuckin' can't win for losing around here.
Ya know, he stays up until 2:30am on work nights watching movies and playing games online. I've been at him for years, not over exagerating... YEARS to go through the piles and garbage bags full of clothes he doesn't use or that are ruined anyways and throw stuff out that he doesn't use. He gets to  certain point and stops, EVERYTIME. There are still piles of his clothes everywhere. OMG.
I think of the baby growing inside me and I am so disapointed because like I can't be happy. All I can think of is how much work life is going to be when he/she gets here and I'm the only one doing everything.
I feel like my life is shit. I'm angry because I've wanted to feel happy about this baby, and I can't seem to feel happy... about anything actually. It would be nice o shar this experience with someone who actually honestly gave a damn. Most days I float along. I miss my mom a lot, especially right now.
I really want to curl up into a ball and cry right now. Might actually just do that.

TTYS
XOXO