I o'd today, we've bd'd for 2 nights and will continue to do so. I have some terrible Oing cramps, but its' worth it! So I go for BETA in 2 weeks from today. I'de really like to get preggers... and have it stick.
I was looking through some old pic's of Maera, can't believe how much she grown and changed so quickly in the last 21 months. I also found a video I took of her dancing in the womb and my belly rolling with her... and I remembered how good it felt to feel her in there moving, I can't wait to feel that again. And I can't wait to breast feed again. Although I know it was be my last pregnancy, I can't wait!! I love being a mommy!
TTYS
XOXO
Friday, August 6, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
cd 10 = follie @ 18mm? wow!
Had my b/w & u/s I have a follie at 18mm on the right side, b/w tomorrow morning again to see if I'm going to surge. We're going natural this cycle and probably next cycle as well.
We want to buy our own house. I think we should sit with a realtor to see what benefits we get for first time buyers and what we need to do in order to obtain our goal as homeowners. See if I can book an apointment for when David's home. He works aaaalll day everyday, so that'll be difficult, and I work basically every saturday. I dunno if they'll take us on a sunday but we can call n see! I've been checking out the MLS listings in town here, I don't want anything over $140 or so cause then we won't be house poor. I am happy to be focusing on something positive, lets hope I can keep it that way.
Alright, gotta go for now n make supper for Maera and I! TC!
TTYS
XOXO
We want to buy our own house. I think we should sit with a realtor to see what benefits we get for first time buyers and what we need to do in order to obtain our goal as homeowners. See if I can book an apointment for when David's home. He works aaaalll day everyday, so that'll be difficult, and I work basically every saturday. I dunno if they'll take us on a sunday but we can call n see! I've been checking out the MLS listings in town here, I don't want anything over $140 or so cause then we won't be house poor. I am happy to be focusing on something positive, lets hope I can keep it that way.
Alright, gotta go for now n make supper for Maera and I! TC!
TTYS
XOXO
Saturday, July 31, 2010
plans...
I think our plans start with the basement, and getting it emptied to the best of our abilities. Lots to sort through, three piles, SELL/KEEP/TOSS. I'm looking forward to getting that done.
We've let Dh's dad know that we don't want to purchase this home, so our plan is to get our finances straightened out and save for a townhouse or small house of our own. I think his dad was a bit shocked when dh told him, but none the less, it feels better to have finally made a decision on that. When we first moved in here his dad said he'd give us our downpayment for a mortage if we decided not to purchase this home. He'de give us the ,money from the sale of this place; tonight when DH asked about that aspect of things his dad was like, well uuhhh. SO it kinda feel like all the time and money we've put into this place has been a waste of time, accept to make it nicer for us to live in. Aww well, I'm not really suprised at all, we can't seem to live upto his families expectations anyways, so them's the breaks!
Baby #2 coming soon hopefully as well. All of our goals are attainable, it's just going to take patients and time... so here's to hoping we can stay focused on our dreams.
Well, my snack is almost done, so it's time to east. MMM perogies and pizza sauce as a dip. My mouth is watering!
TTYS
XOXO
We've let Dh's dad know that we don't want to purchase this home, so our plan is to get our finances straightened out and save for a townhouse or small house of our own. I think his dad was a bit shocked when dh told him, but none the less, it feels better to have finally made a decision on that. When we first moved in here his dad said he'd give us our downpayment for a mortage if we decided not to purchase this home. He'de give us the ,money from the sale of this place; tonight when DH asked about that aspect of things his dad was like, well uuhhh. SO it kinda feel like all the time and money we've put into this place has been a waste of time, accept to make it nicer for us to live in. Aww well, I'm not really suprised at all, we can't seem to live upto his families expectations anyways, so them's the breaks!
Baby #2 coming soon hopefully as well. All of our goals are attainable, it's just going to take patients and time... so here's to hoping we can stay focused on our dreams.
Well, my snack is almost done, so it's time to east. MMM perogies and pizza sauce as a dip. My mouth is watering!
TTYS
XOXO
Thursday, July 29, 2010
picture
It's a little fuzzy and stuff, but here's the most recent picture I have. I'll take some new ones this weekend and post them next week. TTYS.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
so apparently
I am to make today day3 of my cycle and start taking femera. They of course want to monitor me as I shouldn`t be bleeding like I have been this month. They said the numbers came back as if this was the start of my month... so then what was it a week and a half ago that made me bleed... *shrug*. Guess I`ll just go with the flow!
TTYS
XOXO
TTYS
XOXO
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I just really want to enjoy life, and I can't. I think I am going to call the dr and see about anti depressants for a little while. Everything feels uncertain... I've been trying to make changes, but not much seems to be going my way. Walls pop up everytime I try moving forward.
I have had 7 days this month without a period or spotting, my period came 3 seperate times... knowing my luck it's something really bad, cause I can't seem to catch a break. I go tomorrow for blood work to check my hormones. I was thinking about getting my diabeties test done as well, cause I am probably most likely diabetic.
We can't seem to catch up on bills, creditors call, and we're behind on everything. We have no real money for 'fun'. Haven't even baught Maera a new toy in a very long time... I feel really bad for that. I know she's not suffering or anything, but still. Id'e like to buy her a little something.
DH hasn't and doesn't make any real steps towards getting through all our things and throwing stuff we don't need out, like I'm supossed to do it all. We have to much junk and not enough space! I feel like I'm gunna snap.
My brothers are both going through some really rough emotional things, and because mom's gone, I've taken 'her place' type thing. I'm cool with being relied on and am happy they can both come to me, but I'm feeling overwhelmed right now.
I got through all of mom's things and sent them to their appropriate places, so that's taken care of, and that was hard. I did it all in a week... it was a hard week last week.
I feel like I haven't smiled in months, like truly actually smiled... with acception to the cute things Maera says and does. I do my best to stay energetic and happy for her, and she seems to be fine, I just wish I knew what I wanted and had a plan layed down for my future.
I've been wanting to take the dog grooming course and can't because I don't have the money. $6200 before taxes. I emailed the guy and he responded yestday to say he didn't think OSAP funded courses less than 12 weeks long... so here I sit working part time, making minimum wage at the dollar store.
Every little thing seems to get to me ten fold... and I know its because I'm depressed, but if things would just start working out for me, life would be much better.
Sorry I don't really have anything positive to say, but that's why I stopped posting here, because things are just relaly hard right now.
Anyways, that's a quick update, and when I get a new camera I'll post updated pic's of Maera.
That's it for now.
XOXO
I have had 7 days this month without a period or spotting, my period came 3 seperate times... knowing my luck it's something really bad, cause I can't seem to catch a break. I go tomorrow for blood work to check my hormones. I was thinking about getting my diabeties test done as well, cause I am probably most likely diabetic.
We can't seem to catch up on bills, creditors call, and we're behind on everything. We have no real money for 'fun'. Haven't even baught Maera a new toy in a very long time... I feel really bad for that. I know she's not suffering or anything, but still. Id'e like to buy her a little something.
DH hasn't and doesn't make any real steps towards getting through all our things and throwing stuff we don't need out, like I'm supossed to do it all. We have to much junk and not enough space! I feel like I'm gunna snap.
My brothers are both going through some really rough emotional things, and because mom's gone, I've taken 'her place' type thing. I'm cool with being relied on and am happy they can both come to me, but I'm feeling overwhelmed right now.
I got through all of mom's things and sent them to their appropriate places, so that's taken care of, and that was hard. I did it all in a week... it was a hard week last week.
I feel like I haven't smiled in months, like truly actually smiled... with acception to the cute things Maera says and does. I do my best to stay energetic and happy for her, and she seems to be fine, I just wish I knew what I wanted and had a plan layed down for my future.
I've been wanting to take the dog grooming course and can't because I don't have the money. $6200 before taxes. I emailed the guy and he responded yestday to say he didn't think OSAP funded courses less than 12 weeks long... so here I sit working part time, making minimum wage at the dollar store.
Every little thing seems to get to me ten fold... and I know its because I'm depressed, but if things would just start working out for me, life would be much better.
Sorry I don't really have anything positive to say, but that's why I stopped posting here, because things are just relaly hard right now.
Anyways, that's a quick update, and when I get a new camera I'll post updated pic's of Maera.
That's it for now.
XOXO
Monday, May 3, 2010
wowsers
Hi ladies. Thanx for all your condolences and thoughts reguarding my mother. I appreciate it. Things have been really hectic, lots going on. Trying to take care of estate things, she didn't actually complete the will, so that made everything just that much more difficult.
Friday I did a hpt and it came back a very faint positive, so I did two more, this time first response, they came back light positive... so today I went and got a BETA, and it was 11, so it's low low low, probably a chemical pregnancy. I don't know what cd I'm on either... I am sitting staring at the pregnancy tests and can't believe they show positive and I know that my level is 11... it was like a gift from my mother, I conceived a week or so after her passing... its really sad that things aren't going my way.
Things have been sad, and depressing really, like there's a black cloud hanging over our heads, I really thought it had lifted once I found out I was pregnant, but apparently not... just another thunderbolt of lightening to strike me down.
When things get a little more positive I'll come back with another update and check in on everyone else.
Friday I did a hpt and it came back a very faint positive, so I did two more, this time first response, they came back light positive... so today I went and got a BETA, and it was 11, so it's low low low, probably a chemical pregnancy. I don't know what cd I'm on either... I am sitting staring at the pregnancy tests and can't believe they show positive and I know that my level is 11... it was like a gift from my mother, I conceived a week or so after her passing... its really sad that things aren't going my way.
Things have been sad, and depressing really, like there's a black cloud hanging over our heads, I really thought it had lifted once I found out I was pregnant, but apparently not... just another thunderbolt of lightening to strike me down.
When things get a little more positive I'll come back with another update and check in on everyone else.
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