rambles....

So, about a month and a half ago a friend approached me about adopting a baby from a friend of hers who is pregnant. I know this woman, we occasionally meet at get togethers or karaoke. I have her on my facebook ect. She has two other children and doesn't believe she can handle another, which is mature of her, and I respect her for admitting that the baby would be better off being adopted. But I have conflicting feelings about the entire thing.
I have been approached a few times about adopting and about seragent mothers, people offering ect. I have an issue with it because I know that they mean the best, but the fact of people finding it so easy to approach me about it is mind boggling. I get angry when I think about it. I think its because they're not hearing that I have PCOS, I still have a chance to bare a child, its just going to take longer and take some help from the Dr. I'm not sterile! (although there are some people who are and I count my blessings to even have a chance) I think its ignorance (not being educated on the subject of infertility) that leads people to these assumptions... which makes me angry. It doesn't fill me with much confidence either. It would be better for my friends to concentrate on supporting the efforts we're making towards becoming pregnant than trying to solve the entire thing by them having a baby for us. I truly know they only have the best intentions with their suggestions, but come on people... I'm a woman who's been trying to have a baby for 5 1/2 yrs now, don't you think I've thought about the what if's ands' & buts' ect...?
Anyways, the lady that's pregnant, she found out she's having a boy, and I can't help but feel sad that he's being given up for adoption... my perspective is that you'd find the resources somehow to support the third child. I'm not in her shoes, and I can see wanting the baby to have a better life than the one you can offer, but it still upsets me. And I think its because I haven't had a child yet and we want one soooo bad... and here she is totally opposit, having a child and knowing she can't care for it the way he deserves to be cared for and giving it up for adoption.
I don't know, always kicks me into deep thought...

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I had a wonderful daydream yesterday while I was outside thinking of how chilly it was getting. In my dream I was playing with a little girl in a pink jacket, my daughter, she was showing me something she had picked up off the sidewalk and I was explaining to her what it was... It was a nice daydream and actually made me smile when I thought about it right afterwards... hopefully one day that will happen...

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I hadn't heard back from the DR reguarding my referral yet so I called today and was told that referrals can take upto 3 weeks before I hear back... one more week to go... argh. I really want to get started on things. I have been working so hard at eating the right things, taking my folic acid, working out at the gym... and now AF won't even show up. But that's why, cause I've changed my diet and exersize, well that and I have PCOS lol. I'm about to burst waiting to meet this new Dr. But I guess I have no choice but to wait.

Well that's all my ramblings for now. Take care!

My.Herstory