I miss my mother. Some days I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. Like I want to smile and feel really happy... I've just got so many depressing things going through my head. I am so angry about losing mom and angry about a lot of things in life. I miss being happy and I don't know how to be genrally happy.
Don't get me wrong I am happy there is a baby growing in me, but I mean that comes with stress and anxiety too. My brother lives with us and most days I wish he didn't. I'm angry because I'm ALWAYS the responsible one... and I've been given all this extra responsibility and it makes me angry... I just wish someone else would say, hey jen, I don't want you to worry about this... I'll take care of it... you just make sure that baby is growing healthy in there. Nope, don't work that way!
It bothers me that we have to find a new place to live, which will include doug... like no offence, but I want my own fucking life too! And I wish David would do more around the house. i've bothered him for YEARS, yes YEARS now to go through all his clothes and get rid of what he doesn't want, and he won't!! LIKE WHY NOT? OMG. He has piles of clothes all over the place in the basment and spare room... Everything is just so friggin frusterating. There's sooo much that I can't even articulate it all. And its not just pregnancy hormones... its reality and I don't know what to do about any of it.
Anyways, thanx for listening to me vent... I'm just so frusterated and angry and depressed about a lot of things.... its hard to see past that some days.
K, gotta go, David just came home
TTYS
XOXO
No comments:
Post a Comment