Annnd I'm back! LOL

Hi ppl's, if you still check if I'm alive over here. I know it's been a while, but things have been rather hectic. Lots has changed in my life, and lots of adjustments.


Well, mom moved in, and we moved Doug and Micheline into their new place, everyone seems cozy now lol. Mom started her radiation treatments 3 weeks ago, so I've been very busy with driving her back and forth for that. She's doing very well with her treatments. We go every day of the week, it's a 3 hour round trip, with the acception of once a week where we stay to visit with the radiation Dr. Those days are a lot longer. They are fabulous at the London Cancer clinic though, and are really good with answering questions.



The radiation is shrinking the spot on her back, but that's the only place they can radiate, cause apparently ya can't do radiation on the lungs. So we had our appointment with the chemo specialist last week... found out that mums cancer is so rare that out of the 5000 new patients they get a year, 1-6 ppl have what she does... wow eh? So they're still learning about her type of cancer. But the promising thing is that they can hopefully stop the growth with Alieve and another Estrogen blocking medication. If that doesn't work then they can do Chemo, but it takes a long time for that to kick in and start possibly shrinking these things.

So I quite my job in Jan, mom asked if I could stay home if she increased what she was paying for 'rent'. I spoke with David and he agreed it would be best. We didn't like how Maera was reacting to not being around us as well. That's another story in itself. So I've been the perverberal house wife since then. It was really hard at the beginning to get into the groove of being home again. I worked 4 months, a 2 hour commute daily for both Maera and I, plus a 7 hour shift, then home to cook supper ect ect. Now I know a lot of women do this and they're okay with it, but for me I was tired all the time, and din't have the energy in the evening for maera like I wanted too. Plus helping mom and doing housework on top of all that was not so good. Things are still really busy with driving back and forth daily for mom's apointments, but its different because I don't have to drop Maera off at someones house every day and worry about her well being. I have time to do housework... well the last week has been difficult because apointment times have been in the middle of the day.

Now, how have I been doing with all this change? Well for the most part I'm okay with it. Money is an issue, although it always has been, and probably always will be, because we never seem to have enough of it lol. Not even when I was working. I kinda feel like I've put all my dreams and personal goals on the back shelf for other ppl, and It is bothering me more and more. I really want to get my grooming lisence, but can't because I have not time right now. Although that will be changing in a couple weeks, it's a 6 wk course and I have to be able to pay for a sitter, which runs $30/day. I don't think the gov't will pay for that and my course. I like being home and I like that I can be there for other ppl, but sometimes I feel like what Jenn wants, gets lost in the shuffle.

Now David says he does want another child, but we're back to the money issue and the time to get the procedures done that we need in order to get pregnant again, and we're on a time limit here. I'll be 35 in nov, and I know my chances go down a percentage even more... no preassure though lol. So I'm confused about a lot of things right now and am trying to keep my head straight on things.

I'm gunna take some time over the next few days and see if I can catch up with all of your blogs... It's difficult to get time along when mom's up and David's home and Maera's up... Everyone seems to require my 100% attention. Now Maera I of course don't mind lol, but I mean the adults should understand I need a few minutes alone, without someone looking over my shoulder and expecting something of me. So I'll get to each of you shortly. I hope you've all been well.

TTYL
XOXO